Don't Correct Me

I take great pride in my command of the English language — or at least the American English language. I am better-than-average at spelling and pronunciation. Over forty years have passed since I graduated high school and I am still studying English.

It really irritates me when someone, especially an uneducated and ignorant someone, corrects my pronunciation. I know that grimace rhymes with face and the accent is on the second syllable. I know that dissect is not pronounced die-sect, but dissect.

I also have a familiarity with several languages, in none of which I can claim any proficiency. I know how to pronounce German, Spanish, and Latin. I am not so good in French (and a native-born Frenchman would tell me I never will be).

I know some words, particularly names, are pronounced differently depending where you are in the country. Bergen, NY and Bergen, NJ are not pronounced the same. Charlotte, NY and Charlotte, NC are pronounced differently as is Ephrata, PA and Ephrata, WA and the cities of Moscow, Russia and Moscow, ID. If I pronounce the name of a place wrong and am corrected by someone from that area or familiar with the proper pronunciation I take no umbrage.

I went to the deli at a local supermarket and asked if they had Lebanon balogna. I enunciated clearly: Leb-a-non, with the accent on the first syllable. The waif behind the counter said, "Leb-e-NON," to which I replied, "I pronounced it correctly." After ascertaining that they did not sell the product I asked for a pound of Münster cheese, using the correct German pronunciation of Myunster (the the y and umlauted u being pronounced as one letter). You meant "Munster," didn't you?" she asked. Somewhat indignantly I told her that I had said it as it should be.

OK, most people use the pronunciations that the young lady working at the counter did. That makes it neither right nor acceptable. Where do these aberrant pronunciations come from? They come from ignorant TV reporters and radio announcers who seem bent on changing the way we speak. Grenada, that tiny island nation in the West Indies, was until the recent military engagement there (under the presidency of Ronald Reagan, for those to young to remember) pronounced with an "ah" sound. Now it is Gren-nay-da. Too bad Frankie Lane didn't know that. He would never have been able to rhyme it with Nevada — or will we be calling that Ne-vay-da ten years from now? Oh, just in case you are a public speaker, its English pronunciation is with the middle a as the a in at, not Nev-ah-da. Yes, I know, because I lived there.

If you are one of those people who feel it is your duty to correct everyone's pronunciation and use of the English language I have but one word for you: STOP! Sooner or later you will find yourself with egg on your face. If you are proficient in these areas and you want to save someone from future embarrassment, do it quietly and privately. And as for you, young lady behind the counter, remember this: the customer is always right — even when he's wrong.